I see what you do

..."are you stressed, mom"?

Kyler asked me as he crawled into his bed and slid under the covers. 

My reaction was a question mark. 

I thought I had actually been quite peaceful in the midst of some recent chaotic schedule changes. 

In fact, I had just mentally made a "good job mom" note of how I didn't react when the siblings were in the midst of a full out brawl (over Jenga :))

As I'm deciding my response, he cuts me short and says 

"You know mom, I see what you do"

Now I should preface this with the fact that I have in no way told him (or anyone else) that I'm feeling under appreciated lately.. :) ha!

So his comment caught me off guard. I asked him exactly what that means. 

Kyler responded 

"Oh lots of things. Like when you always hug me and kiss me and you know, smile at me when I look at you. You always always smile at me. Just like those kinds of things but even when you sit with me forever just to make sure everything is done right on my homework even though you don't have to. Or when you put my jacket on me even if it's not that cold in the mornings. You pour my cereal. You take me to Boy Scouts and sit with all the kids.  Instead of the parents. And you crawl up in bed with me at night just to talk even though you are tired. I know you're tired, mom."

I could feel the tears burning my eyes. And Kyler continued with more that he sees but that's the little bit that I always want to remember, just for myself. Because those "little things" are all moments that I don't think about as they're happening. 

If you asked what made a "good mom" I don't know if Kyler's list would have made my top?

Not until that conversation between us. 

The striving mom in me is trying to cook healthier, keep them outside & off electronics, read more, the list continues.

Sure, all good things. 

And every mother knows the drill of that inner voice that brings doubt or the dreaded guilt game. 

So our little talk was such a good reminder that love covers a multitude of our shortcomings. 

The little things, you know - maybe they are the big things. Maybe they're everything. 

And grace abounds in a home where you take in the smallest of everyday moments. And smile. Always smile.